Showing posts with label Dina Mohd Yunus Ramli. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dina Mohd Yunus Ramli. Show all posts

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

MH370 - three years after.

In a few days - on 8 March 2017 - it will be the 3rd anniversary of the disappearance of Flight MH370. Among the 239 passengers on that fateful flight were my daughter-in-law, her mother, sister and aunt. To date, they are still missing. Extensive search in the Indian Ocean over the past two years has not yielded anything by way of the plane or its passengers. Meanwhile, we are as far away from solving the mystery of the plane's disappearance as we had been on the day it disappeared. While questions abound, answers continue to elude us; for how much longer, we wonder.

I can't even begin to describe the emotions that surged through us - my family - that Saturday 8 March 2014 as we sat in the KLIA waiting room accorded to family members  awaiting news of the flight. Together with the family members, relatives and friends of the other Malaysian passengers on board the flight, we were a mixed bag of emotions, huddled in our own cluster of support. Anxiety ran high; tear-stained faces underlined hopelessness  as the day dragged on to night without word of the plane's whereabouts. Baffled by the uncertainty and lack of official communications, I kept looking towards the blue sky through the wide glass windows for a sign of the plane returning - as if it would suddenly appear in the sky in the same way that it had disappeared from it. Besides, there was little else to do that day but wait for news of our loved ones. I prayed for their safe return, silently and ceaselessly. Little did I expect that henceforth for the next two years and after, I would still be doing the same thing, mostly in the sanctuary of my home and wherever else I happen to be because I have not been able to forget. Coming to three years, it takes very little to remind me that there is this personal tragedy waiting to be solved. And more than anything else, begging for closure.

With its disappearance shrouded in mystery, it became fodder for all manner of sleuths and speculation. Theories as to the possible causes of its disappearance are rife - a fire or catastrophe on board beyond the crew's control, alien abduction, act of terrorism, seizure by a foreign power, act of suicide-murder by the pilot, interception by remote control...the list goes on. While some theories might appear far-fetched, others seemed plausible. But your guess is as good as mine. For a lay person like me, the Government's Official Report issued the following year in March 2015 only compounds the confusion. The figures, the satellite readings, the calculations put forth in the Report are Greek to me. Without a shred of tangible evidence, they are as good as assumptions and presumptions after all. Still, I continue to read whatever bit of news or article relating to the Flight that I chance upon on the Internet, hoping that it will provide me with even a modicum of a clue as to what actually happened to Flight MH370. Sadly, the media has lost interest, and little, if anything at all, is mentioned of it these days.

But what of the people, like me, whose lives are impacted by the flight's disappearance? Of the husband, wife, son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister etc. left behind in its aftermath?  Do we simply accept it as an unfortunate accident and move on with our lives?  The passage of time alone does not heal. After three years we might be finally resigned to the loss, accepting it as fate decreed by the Divine, but it is by no means easier. Questions still abound and with the ending of the search, the much-needed closure is as elusive as ever. 







Tuesday, 19 May 2015

REMEMBERING DINA



This morning - alone and in the privacy of my bedroom - I cried for her. I simply let the tears flow, uninhibitedly and unashamedly, to give vent to my grief, the only way I know how. Whenever in company during the last few weeks of anguish and distress, I had held back the tears as best I could so as not to make a public display of myself. And it was as much for her sake that I wanted to do it in a dignified way because I don't think she would have liked it any other way.

Dina was hardly ever effusive in her actions, and most certainly not with her words. She always conducted herself with an elegant restraint that was very becoming for a young lady. And so as I grieve for her, I would like to do so in the same manner that would do her justice - with tears and quiet sobbing, and certainly no wailing - although that would not be a true measure of the immense pain that I feel with her passing. 

Our time together was short and abruptly ended; I can't say that I really know her well enough within just a year. But it was long enough for me to love her as I would a daughter. For that is what she has become within the span of a year. I wonder if there were any awkward moments between us in the beginning of their marriage. On my part, I can't recall any. She had many likeable qualities, and the one that struck me most from the first time that I met her was her composure. She didn't seem easily ruffled, and there was an air of serenity about her. That, I knew, would be a good complement for  her husband Nizam (my son) who is characteristically spirited. I remember thinking that she would be the calming effect on him in times of agitation, or whenever he needed to slow down. 

Dina was intelligent and articulate, but unassuming and mild-mannered - traits that would endear her very easily to just about anyone. But these were the very same qualities that served to make her presence felt. While she might have preferred to take a backseat sometimes, she was no pushover; just someone with good manners. Underneath that quiet demeanour lies a strong sense of self - she was secure in who she was, therein lay her strength. She didn't need to try too hard or to prove anything. It was by no means arrogance; it was simply an honest representation of herself, a personification of a wholesome upbringing. Her slight frame and quietude belied the gumption that I believed she had in her. If she had to, she would put up a good fight. She was a good sport, determined to enjoy life and soak up its challenges in her stride. Believe me, as gentle as she seemed, she was no shrinking violet! 

It was heart-warming to witness the sisterhood she formed with my daughter Pita who found in Dina the sister she never had. Pita truly rejoiced in the closeness of the bond that they forged so quickly together in such a short time. They clearly enjoyed each other's company, and had made plans together too. I can't even begin to describe the extent of the loss for Pita, and the depth of the pain she is going through. Such is the effect of Dina's departure from our lives. 

I will be forever grateful for her help during the preparation for my other son's wedding last January. Dina had been plagued with back problems but not once did she complain when she had to be on her feet most of the evening. She did her fair share of the tasks obligingly and smilingly. It was a Bollywood-themed wedding, and the green chiffon sari which she chose to wear complimented her fair skin splendidly.

Dina exuded confidence in the way she dressed - whatever the occasion, she knew what suited her. Her fashion was an extension of herself, never ostentatious, always classy. She had an innate sense of style that was a combination of her individuality and of trends. She had the knack of putting things together like the true urban sophisticate that she was. I will miss seeing that. 

I had envisaged and looked forward to more days when we would do things together in the course of our journey as mother and daughter-in-law. In time I knew her opinion would be one that I would seek out because I foresee that it would be nothing short of fair, honest and well-thought out. Alas, it was never meant to be. Will we ever come to terms with the way she left us? Will there come a day when I will remember her without tears?

Still, I thank Allah for her time with us  - albeit briefly; and especially for the happiness she brought my son. During their wedding reception in Ipoh - on March 2, 2013 - I read a poem that I had written as my gift for them. There was a part in which I said: 

       "Dina - when you touched Nizam's heart, you touched mine
         When you make him smile
         My heart beams like sunshine."

Dina, you did more than touched my heart; you endeared yourself to me. Sadly, you will never know how much. I miss you dearly; you will always be in my prayers, and will live forever in my heart.





Al-fatihah.