MOVING ON...

It is 4 years 6 months since the disappearance of flight MH370 on 8 March 2014. In a month's time, my son - whose wife was on the flight - will marry again. It is hard to describe how I feel because my feelings are mixed. After 3 years there was a time when I worried that he might not be able to move on with his life in terms of starting anew with someone else. As a mother, it was my biggest fear. Even today, I cannot put the incident out of my mind, so how can I expect him to? Some days it is still fresh as if it was only yesterday. They had only been married a year and had just celebrated their first anniversary. In a cruel twist of fate, what was supposed to be a brief trip to Beijing in the company of her mother, elder sister and an aunt, turned out to be one of no return. While it hadn't been easy for us, I can only imagine the heartbreak it was for my son. But he soldiered on, burying himself in work and returning to the home they shared late at night, so as to find solace in sleep. It must have been one hell of loneliness.

In the beginning, when the media was at its frenzy covering the flight's disappearance, coupled with the hordes of theories from every source imaginable, we told him that it was best to avoid watching TV or any form of coverage of the incident. The uncertainty and  confusion would only wear him out. And to only await news from MAS or official sources. To his credit, he bore the years that followed with perseverance. He showed more fortitude than I thought he had; never once did he give up or wallow in self-pity. He seemed calm - at least outwardly - and took the tribulation in his stride. For us who are closest to him, he had become a tad quieter and his laughter, if it came at all, was forced and hollow. He had grieved in silence. Finally, the loneliness must have got to him. He started dating his soon-to-be wife a year ago - 3 years after the incident - and they got engaged last April. It wasn't easy for him; he had his moments of hesitation before taking that step. After all, it was going to be another milestone in his life. He is 35 and should be in the prime of his life, building a career and a family.

I am happy for him. Alhamdulillah, he is moving on. I pray to the Almighty that he be given the happiness he deserves, in lieu of the one that was so suddenly taken from him. I want to hear his hearty laugh again. Insyaallah.