To A Very Dear Sister

Yesterday                    

You lay stretched out on the bed
Legs apart - pillowless.
Your head turned to the wall
And remained so - motionless.
You were calm - as if in sleep
But emotionless.

I called your name
But you heard me not.
I stroked your hand
But you heeded me not.
Who suffers now?
I know not if you could speak
But chose not to.
Or if you could hear
But refused to.

Had you numbed your feelings
To obscure the pain
To harden the senses?
Were you imagining another world
Like you used to do
Where things would work out fine
When things were in fact askew?
This time I asked that you fake a smile
So I would know there was still a bit of you.

Was I intruding?
As you shut your eyes
Deny your feelings
To shut out the world
That was no longer bliss
No longer meaningful for what was left of you.

Only days ago
You spoke; slowly and haltingly
But unmistakably.
Yesterday your silence was loud
And I miss you already.